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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966137">override</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/esariiaa/pseuds/esariiaa'>esariiaa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Assassination, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Future AU, Hacker Kenma, M/M, Revenge, Some Fluff, Some angst, Yearning, assassin kuroo, breaking the system, falling in love in a hopeless place, lots of intensity, so yes blood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:06:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/esariiaa/pseuds/esariiaa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kozume Kenma was raised in an underground criminal organization to be a hacker. He is frequently paired in missions with Kuroo Tetsurou, an assassin and his childhood friend since their training days at the facility. </p><p>When Kenma is assigned a job targeting Kuroo, he must decide if love is worth risking his life for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. first sequence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>override</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>//first sequence</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The neon green ID code on Kenmas monitor confirmed that once again, he was partnered with Kuroo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, it wouldn’t look anything like Kuroo. The assassins' masks completely altered appearance and modulated voice. But it was him. KSF501, right above Kenma, KZR205. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma clicked over to check the program on his right monitor. He gained access to the cameras 2 minutes ago. Once he received the go-ahead, all he had to do was breach the security system and every door in the facility would unlock, other than the exits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond hacker was growing impatient, adjusting his headphones meticulously, making sure the volume was up, knowing it already was. The only light in his loft radiated from the 3 screens in front of him. He preferred it that way, so the city lights shined brighter in the distance out his floor-to-ceiling window. He was prepared, as usual, with his hair pulled back and wildly observant golden eyes unblinking in anticipation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Static cracked in his ear, causing him to jolt up straight. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Online.” </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p><span>“Online.” Kenma replied as he shifted forward in his chair and quickly clicked, running the program in an instant. 12 digit numbers appeared consecutively, filling the window.</span> <em><span><br/>
<br/>
</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finally, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These were the only times he had gotten to speak to Kuroo in almost a year now. He wasn’t sure if that’s why he was anxious.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma’s index finger punched the enter key twice. They were in, and his focus shifted to one camera feed in particular: Kuroo's POV.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo never rushed in. That was one of his many strong suits. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he entered a room, he calculated every factor, from the granite floor that had been polished within the last week, meaning it could be easily scuffed by his boots (not that it would grant the inquirer any leads), to the placement of the dim light bulbs illuminating his path from above. On numerous occasions he’d had to kill the lights to grant an edge, and he valued his own visibility in a fight.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo exuded confident, yet contained, energy, which is exactly what he aimed for. He enjoyed being the smartest in the room, letting his enemies feel that he was ten steps ahead of them. Which he usually was.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also worked well under pressure,</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>and he worked extremely well with Kenma, who assessed and filled the cracks in his foundation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo was annoyingly brillant, but he was far from perfect. Kenma's assistance ironed out any flaws he had. Their unshakable trust resulted in them always working together, ensuring a quick and clean execution.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lobby was quiet and vacant, as expected. Kuroo kept a steady pace until he reached the stairwell.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Planning on moving this slow the whole time?” Kenma watched him on the feed. He was smaller in stature, with his hood up. Kenma wished he saw familiar jagged black strands of Kuroo’s hair poking out.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“It’s called being cautious.” His voice was deeper, too. “I know where I’m going.” Assassins were required to memorize the maps. Kuroo never neglected that.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying you don’t need my help?” Kenma began typing in a rush as he spoke. They had already been detected and the company’s security system was continuously kicking him out. It was annoying, fighting back with codes to override it so that his assassin wouldn’t get stuck at a locked door.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always need your help.” Once he reached the 3rd floor Kuroo peered through the thin door window. “You know that.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma let himself smile as he checked the POV cam again. “Take out the top left camera in the hallway.” </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Kuroo reached for the gun under his jacket. This one did all the dirty work, while the hidden one on his back got the kill. He tightened the silencer on and ducked down, opening the door carefully. Without hesitation, he took aim at the red light in the far corner and fired, exploding the camera into hot shards of plastic. Kenma barely glanced at the square where that camera’s feed went dark in his peripheral vision.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was it this time?” Kuroo had his back against the wall of the hallway while he concealed his weapon. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mini turret.” Kenma took a sip of his energy drink. He’s usually up at this hour, but these jobs were way easier than training in ALY. He ended up becoming bored during them. Not that he would falter. Partnering with Kuroo energized him enough. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t intercept that, 205?” Kenma could hear the smirk through his tone.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. It was on a different network. If I broke into that earlier, you’d be dead by now.” He hated when Kuroo used his code as his name. But their conversation wasn’t private, and using their real names was a rookie mistake.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like an excuse.” </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Kenma couldn’t help but miss Kuroo's teasing, even if it got on his nerves so much at ALY. Now his eyes were glued to the hallway feed for any movement, while he still fought against the “ACCESS DENIED” windows that kept popping up on the monitor in front of him.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, we should think of a catchphrase or something. A one-liner.” Kuroo kept to the right side of the hallway before turning the corner.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did not miss Kuroo's stupid ass ideas, however. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve done the last, what, four together? We should say something cool before signing off. Or maybe come with a team name.” Kuroo envisioned Kenma shaking his head at this, and held back a laugh behind his mask.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“..and why would we do that?” He should have just ignored the comment. Kenma was now tapping a key to refresh the thermal camera feed, which was one of the mask features on a separate POV screen. Kuroo was reaching the last door on the left, where the targets were.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, kinda seals the whole thing up with our own secret, signature line.” Kuroo moved across to the left side, against the wall, door frame against his elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“They’re near the window. 11 and 9.” Pink and orange blobs were strangely still on the thermal camera. “I think they know.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well if they don’t, they will in about 5 seconds.” Kuroo reached for the gun on his back which switched off the cloaking technology. The weapon regained visibility and Kenma watched him check it over, touching each section lightly with his gloved fingers.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p><span>“Stop talking.” Kenma hissed. The mask greatly reduced the audibility of the assassin's voice, but it didn’t mute them. Odds are he wasn’t heard, but the targets were standing conspicuously still.</span> <span>This wasn’t the first time Kuroo got overly confident.</span><span><br/>
<br/>
</span></p><p>
  <span>“Just calm down and be ready.” Kuroo ordered, nodding at one of the security cams above him. He inhaled one more breath, as Kenma held his.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was sad how numb they were to it now. How routine killing had become. It was ingrained in their minds to be their purpose. Remorse couldn’t exist. Any doubt -or feelings in general- couldn’t exist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were highly efficient murder tools with a heartbeat, and as much as Kuroo had always fought that truth, sometimes Kenma felt like it was all they’d ever be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And every job was nearly the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo opens the door in one quick motion, shots are already flying in his direction. In some cases, he had the luxury of killing unarmed targets. Not this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyeing all cameras simultaneously, Kenma covers as Kuroo dodges to the ground. There was no movement detected on the floor, so they wouldn’t be expecting enemy backup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your left.” Kenma instructs as Kuroo shoots the man twice in the leg before he could move another inch. Kuroo was behind a chair or couch. This part was always tricky for the hacker since he had to rely on the POV. No security feed in this room. The blood was on Kuroo’s hands, no matter how much Kenma made it possible on his end.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was yelling from both targets. The man on the ground was still trying to shoot at Kuroo, who reached over and promptly ended the racket by putting a bullet in his neck.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stand! Y-you come here, you show your filthy fucking face!” The shouting went on and on. Kenma always hated that. The incessant wailing for their lives was as pointless as it was annoying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with the altered appearance the mask granted him, it couldn’t change the distinct grin that spread across Kuroo’s face. He knew it was twisted to find humor in these moments, but he couldn’t help it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had to know that he was no one. A hitman who had no idea who hired him or why. He didn’t ask questions; he simply got the job done by pulling the trigger.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only plus from the screaming was that Kuroo could tell exactly where the man was by his voice, and he was dead-on. He stood and fired between the ribs, so fast that Kenma blinked and the man was falling over, out of frame.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About 8 minutes,” There were others in the upper floors of this building, and Kenma guessed they had about that long to grab what they needed and get out of there. He didn’t see any panic in the security footage yet, but he didn’t like to keep hacking it for long after the assassin had finished up. “Bottom left drawer of the desk.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo ignored the sounds of the victims choking on their blood as he carefully made his way across the room to the desk, squatting and pulling the handle of the drawer. There was a dial lock on the safe. Nothing he couldn’t deal with.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t had to do this in a while.” Kuroo finally spoke, securing his gun on his back.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hope you’ve gotten better at it.” Kenma added some urgency to his tone. Time was not a luxury right now.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey if I’m correct, I was faster than you were at them.” Kuroo’s black, skin-tight gloves were made of material that detected vibrations – including extremely small click sounds from locks. The masks synced to every part of his gear, so basically he could turn up the volume from his gloves. But he also liked the challenge of figuring out the permutation for combination locks, and the arrow was left on the number 7.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were now being blocked out of the security non-stop. Kenma fought back behind his screen but it was going to be a losing game soon. “Well, be faster now.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo rolled his eyes as the door of the small safe lifted. “I got it, I got… “</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was interrupted by a ticking noise. Ticking was never a good sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The timer bomb went off as Kuroo tried to jump out of range, blasting him backwards. POV cam went fuzzy.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma froze, his hands shaking over his keyboard.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo had never taken a hit since training. Kenma felt his heart rate pick up, and fear crept into his shock.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“K- are you okay? Can you hear me?” Kenma managed to break out of his stunned state. The bomb couldn’t have been that powerful. Timed mines can’t do that much damage but Kuroo could be unconscious and found any minute. “S-say something if you can hear me.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t seem like anyone in the building was reacting yet, but Kenma stared at that POV feed, internally pleading to hear Kuroo reassure him that he was fine. He was always fine. He had to be fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A memory flashed of the day Kuroo broke his nose in combat lessons. He winced with a smile, meeting Kenma's gaze and called it nothing. In a practice mission he was shot in the side. His vest took the impact but Kenma saw the bruising that night when he laid in his bottom bunk of their room. He laughed and said he’d broken 2 ribs.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma blinked the memories away, but he replayed the last thing Kuroo said to him the day he left. He had that on repeat, tucked away in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I promise I’ll find you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma slammed his hand on his desk in anger at the system locking him out again during this. But if Kuroo was okay, he wouldn’t be able to escape if the hacker gave up.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You damn idiot. Why didn’t you tell him to check first?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kenma shook his head, trying to calm himself. The only assurance of Kuroo being alive was when they were partnered up. When you finished training, you were sent to live wherever ALY sent you. They had no personal cell phones, and most definitely were not given intel on where former roommates were residing. Kenma had tried to locate Kuroo, but he was an assassin- they moved frequently with a different alias each time. It was like finding a needle in a haystack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma noticed the POV cam regaining focus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was ..Kuroo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was him, not the illusion. His mask was only covering a 1/4</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span> of his face, having shattered from the blast. The piece with the camera was what gave Kenma this view.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma resisted the urge to shout. He heard Kuroo groan, saw the blood dripping down his cheek.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the ground, to your right,” was all Kenma managed to say. Inside he was screaming something along the lines of </span>
  <em>
    <span>thank fucking god.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit..” Kuroo picked up a shard of the mask closer to him and searched around.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, Kur- hurry up, we don’t have time-“ Fuck. Kenma was so pissed at himself for that name slip-up. That was the second time, too.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m good.” Kenma watched Kuroo, his black hair in his face, reach towards the camera to grab the shard it was in. “I can’t die yet.. got someone I made a promise to.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma paused, catching a faint smile on the raven haired assassin's face as he stood, regaining composure. He still looked like a sore mess, but he knew he gave the hacker half a heart attack by getting hit with that bomb.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma felt tears burning behind his eyes for a second but was now focused on getting Kuroo the fuck out of there, finding the fastest route even if it meant setting an alarm off because let’s face it… that was going to happen tonight anyway with the way things were shaping up.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo managed to grab the contents of the safe as Kenma hastily instructed where he needed to exit. They wasted no time, as the tall assassin ran out the door of a fire escape, jumping to the alley below.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And to think, you’d never see my face again if it weren’t for the mask,” Kuroo coughed, sounding pained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d just have scars.” Kenma was clearing his tracks, logging out of the security. An alarm sounded in the distance, having been set off from the last door.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have enough of those, don’t need them on my face.” His hood was already pulled up, but since he didn’t have the illusion of the mask, Kuroo was extremely alert as he turned down another alley.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should be more careful.” Kenma worried daily, if not almost constantly. If someone else was his hacker for a job, and a mistake like tonight happened... it wasn’t unfathomable that he could die and Kenma would never know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Kuroo worried too. IP addresses can be found. There were other skilled hackers out there that could easily find wherever Kenma was. Kuroo wished he was one of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it.” Kuroo’s face came into view again, as he lifted the piece of the mask out of his coat pocket and held it in front of him. He still looked rough, but Kenma was beyond thankful he was alive. Same smirk, same jawline, same eyes that would appear a faded brown if the lighting was better. He took it in for a moment, not wanting to look away. He wanted to tell Kuroo where he was, he wanted to give him some kind of clue. But everything was recorded and a risk. The masks were sent back to ALY and could be intercepted somehow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant everything.” Kuroo added, then sighed. “Offline.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“…offline.” Kenma responded, ending the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He struggled to rip his headphones off, which pulled his hair loose when he tossed them on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as he was relieved to see Kuroo and hear those words, he still felt a thousand miles from him. He rushed them into it, they should have inspected the safe… regrets poured like all the emotions that were never meant to invade his mind. And even worse, they fucked up the job. Kuroo’s face was exposed, and if the feed was recovered somehow, or if the targets were wearing any kind of device that got a visual, he could be tracked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hope in Kuroo’s words was fading, as Kenma clung to them. Alone in that loft, he clung to every moment he spent with Kuroo, who he considered his only family. Every dumb, corny comment. Every time Kuroo snuck back to their room to check on Kenma, who had just spent 15 hours in front of a computer and was forced to wear a blindfold for the next six. Kuroo’s kind voice, especially clear the day he left. How close he got, the feel of Kuroo’s lips against his, the heat of those memories and the drive to find each other again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma looked up, out the window at the glistening city.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay out there, Kuro.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Kenma was able to sleep, his dreams were vividly violent. They left him restless and in a state of constant alert. Images of death imprinted on his subconscious and haunted him relentlessly, until he woke gasping for air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But sometimes, he would dream of his past. ALY. Codes. Or video games. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On this night, Kenma dreamt of the moment when he realized he felt something more for Kuroo. That day, he tried pushing it out of his mind, rejecting it over and over again until nothing was left but dust of a memory, blown away by regret so that no sparks could ever ignite.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was during armed combat training, a few years ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Underneath ALY was where they usually were sent. Artificial sunlight beamed above the cement walls. 2-way mirrors gleamed a few feet above. Instructors were rarely seen, but they were heard. The students were given rules, timed, recorded, and then sent to the next activity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was before Kenma was assigned as a hacker, or Kuroo an assassin. But everyone could have guessed that’s where they’d end up. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma gripped the hunting knife in his right hand. The blade wasn’t dull, or sharp. It could kill if he wanted it to.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stood back-to-back, in standard black t-shirts and shorts, which was the only “uniform” they were given. Kenma could feel Kuroo's energy, readying himself. This wasn’t the first time they’d sparred, but it was the first time Kenma was equipped with a knife during it. Kuroo was unarmed, being told to work on his restraining techniques. Once the knife hit the floor, and Kenma was in a position where he’d be killed in one hit, Kuroo won that round.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma would win if he got in 3 non-lethal cuts. That, or restrained the other long enough. That one applied to either of them. They were told to hold nothing back, but also avoid serious injuries. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma had a hunch he was given a knife because it was the one weapon he excelled in, aside from a sniper. But the only close combat where he had an edge -literally-  was with knives. In his last evaluation he was told it was his quick strategy to see small openings in a target, and although his endurance and strength was lacking, he could be surprisingly swift. It still wasn’t enough to land him an assassin spot, though.</span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go easy on me,” Kuroo snapped him out of focus, as they waited for the signal to start. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to. You win every time anyway.” Kenma glanced at his side, at Kuroo’s heart rate band on his arm. It blinked red, slowly, meaning he was decently calm. Kenma’s own rate was similar. The monitors were used frequently in ALY to train emotions. No one could get too out of hand, they were always in check. You were sent to a sort of detention room if you completely panicked. Kenma had lived at ALY his whole life and only saw that happen when he was really young.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, rates could fluctuate during fighting.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So .. should it be the other way around then?” Kuroo went on, as Kenma observed the other pairs getting in ready positions across from them.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Kenma answered with a quick shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Strength and size were Kuroo’s obvious advantages. He towered over Kenma, having grown considerably since he arrived when he was 9 years old. He easily won every sparring match when they were paired, but he always seemed to hold back when they fought. His hits were intentionally less powerful, and Kenma noticed that more recently. They were friends, or as close to what friends were in here, Kenma supposed. He’d never had one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shared a room, and every meal together. That was normal for roommates in ALY, unless you really didn’t get along. But emotions, in general, were frowned upon. They were unnecessary, and Kuroo didn’t understand that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming into ALY at his age was considered late. He had experienced a world Kenma could only imagine from TV or books they were given. But soon, after Kuroo finally began talking, he’d share all he knew with Kenma. And after that, Kuroos new favorite thing was to talk to the younger boy, and try to make him smile with his jokes (which Kenma didn’t understand) or stories. There were times Kenma heard him crying at night, which was perplexing. He didn’t know how to help, or what was wrong. He found out later the reason why Kuroo ended up there had a lot to do with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over years, they confided in each other, or at least Kuroo did. Kenma didn’t have much to add, but he did know that Kuroo was the only person he gave a damn about. The only time he felt comfort was when Kuroo was beside him. After long days of training in front of computers, or endurance tests of physical activity, he looked forward to Kuroo’s weird optimism and reassurance. Even if he didn’t always agree with it, it was a light in their dark reality. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the buzzer counted down, Kenma mentally braced himself. He was competitive when he wanted to be, but usually only when he thought he had a shot at winning, which was during any video game. Kuroo would have him pinned before he could get one point, and maybe that was for the best. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time felt different, as the last buzzer echoed and the steel of the knife reflected Kenma’s unwavering expression when they turned, beginning the round.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma was anticipating Kuroo going for a jab to knock him out of his move, but he didn’t. He was holding back, yet again, which allowed Kenma to aim lower for his side. He felt Kuroo react to that, when his arm was quickly bent back and he was almost kicked in the kneecap. Kenma promptly dodged that one, by barely keeping himself up. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to try.. but Kuroo wasn’t. He was barely trying, leaving openings that Kenma now found himself reluctant to take. </span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma winced at the pain in his arm, his hand still holding the knife steady. Finally, Kuroo punched him in the chest right when he was about to free himself. With the wind knocked out of him, Kenma dropped the knife and grabbed it with his left hand, sweeping down to get behind Kuroo, who tried to trip him yet again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was less than graceful when Kenma kicked behind the taller boy's shin, and they fell to the ground. He was shaking, securing Kuroo’s neck in a headlock, blade under his throat.</span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma pressed it against Kuroo’s skin, knowing he should at least leave a mark for the point. He'd break free any second.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I said.. go easy.. Kenma, ” Kuroo sounded like he was laughing, as he choked the words out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He isn’t struggling. Why isn’t he struggling?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kenma’s internal annoyance gave him the confidence to push the knife down and finally break skin.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Then Kuroo invitingly raised his chin, turning to press his cheek against Kenmas face. Kenma felt Kuroo’s lips against his jaw. </span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, just kinda like this position.” he said quietly.</span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say Kenma did not know how to react to this sort of soft, direct affection was an understatement. </span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sensed the heat flushing his face, probably because Kuroo’s was against it.. right? His heart was pounding, the monitor began beeping to signal his ... fear? Kenma had no idea what this feeling was, but he dropped the knife and released Kuroo, scooting back. </span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart rate picked up after he already had Kuroo locked when he was meant to be calm and take his point. They also were meant to keep going. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Kuroo should have freed himself, Kenma should have cut deeper. But he never could have predicted what had just happened: that the world would feel like it was at a halt when Kuroo’s face was against his, and that the one sentence he spoke could completely disarm Kenma.</span>
  <span><br/>
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</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo was smiling, stretching a little as he rose. Kenma just stared at him, messy blond hair falling in his face, trying to compute what had happened.</span>
  <span><br/>
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</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s one point, right?” Kuroo wiped his neck, a small trickle of blood smearing against it. God he was smug. Kenma felt those half-lidded eyes darting over at him again.</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever this feeling was, it was just a distraction. Kenma could get past it or eliminate it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question was if he really wanted to do either.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. second sequence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kenma attempts to ignore his feelings for Kuroo, which proves to be more difficult than he imagined.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days following the training incident felt like a blur to Kenma, yet the memories of them somehow survived as if he had recorded each moment (he guessed he had ALY to thank for his sharp memory). More than anything he recalled the feeling of confusion and overwhelming desire to avoid Kuroo at all costs, while at the same time obsessing over him constantly.</p><p>Kenma found himself perking up when he heard Kuroo laugh in the dining hall, fighting the urge to look in that direction. He excused himself from the crowd to get to the next assigned activity early. He didn’t bother to turn the light on in the empty room, a comfortable hum of computers breaking the silence.</p><p>Kenma couldn’t even sit still. His mind was stuck, like it was when he had a knife to his best friend’s throat.</p><p>He wanted to get past this, he knew he could.<br/>
But what was it? Was it actually fear? Intimidation? He’d never felt like that about Kuroo before, it didn’t make sense that he would. They were friends, and Kuroo was the one who surrendered.</p><p>No, it wasn’t any of that.</p><p>It was how physically close they were, the sensation of Kuroo’s lips on Kenma’s skin, the mixed display of vulnerability and trust. It was feeling closer to someone than Kenma ever had before, and excitement piqued his curiosity. Did Kuroo feel all this too? He had to, right?</p><p>Kenma knew he should see it as a weakness, that how he felt was a nonsensical distraction and nothing more. But what stopped him was the fact that he knew Kuroo wasn’t a distraction. At least, he never saw it that way until now.</p><p>Kenma leaned over the planning table in the middle of the dark room, sliding a hand over the edge.</p><p>Love is not discussed in ALY.<br/>
The only time it’s been mentioned is in media they were permitted to view or read, and even then no one understands it. Why does the guy risk his life to save the girl? It’s illogical. It’s a mistake. Mission: failure.</p><p>Though the word “love” hadn’t crossed his mind, Kenma felt like Kuroo was causing him to lose his mind, focus, and certainly his composure.<br/>
He just wasn’t sure why.</p><p>-</p><p>“This side route is clear,” the short boy traced a finger along the glowing blueprint of the simulation area.</p><p>“As far as we’re aware.” Kenma pointed out, continuing to ignore Kuroo who stood with his arms crossed next to their other teammate. “Usually that indicates a trap.”</p><p>“Not always. If that’s what they want us to think, we’re missing a straight shot to the next target.” The boy, who was another hopeful assassin candidate, placed his marker at an entryway. Though he was small, he was one of the best students there. Everyone always wanted him on their squad in missions, and he sometimes scored above Kuroo.</p><p>“Wait Yaku, where does that leave you then?” Asked the much taller, silver haired boy at his side. Kenma shook his head.</p><p>“Kuroo needs to be on the roof. Then he can cover both of you, and Yaku would reach the door first, which is our best shot if we’re ambushed.” Kenma moved Kuroo's marker diagonally.</p><p>“And if we’re not?” Kuroo chimed in. “And we’re missing the opportunity, like Yaku said?”</p><p>“We can’t depend on that. The area is open. There’s more room for error.” Kenma explained. Just hearing Kuroo’s voice was sending his thoughts away from their task.</p><p>“I don’t know. I think we should seize the chance.” Kuroo stared down at the bright blue map, causing Kenma’s eyes to finally dart up to see his friend lost in thought. He was always valuable when it came to analyzing mission plans. Kenma studied the way Kuroo’s eyes squinted in serious contemplation, then quickly looked down when he realized Lev was speaking to him.</p><p>“What if I took the side way instead?” Lev joined in. “Or two of us could, and we forget about the roof?”</p><p>“That’d be losing our edge. And leaving one assassin that far is a huge risk.” Kenma couldn’t deny that Lev had enthusiasm, but he wasn’t the greatest at recognizing strategy.</p><p>“I can take the side on my own. If I’m ambushed, I can handle it.” Kuroo decided, placing his red marker confidently at the entryway again.</p><p>“I don’t know, with this layout now I feel like maybe I’d be more fit for it.” Yaku interjected.</p><p>“And why is that?” Kuroos obvious annoyance towards Yaku wasn’t a rare theme in these lessons.</p><p>“We’re not taking the side route.” Kenma interrupted, moving the marker back to the roof of the building.</p><p>“Yes, we are. If I’m there, I can eliminate whatever they’re planning, we’d score higher, and secure a win with Yaku at the door first.” Kuroo placed a hand over Kenma’s, which was still holding the marker. The touch made Kenma freeze and finally meet his gaze, accompanied by a raised eyebrow. “Make sense?”</p><p>“It’s a sacrifice. We can win without that.” Kenma’s tone was directed at Kuroo this time, who still softly rested his hand on top of Kenma’s, holding him back.</p><p>Yaku and Lev exchanged looks, knowing the tension between the two was off. It was obvious to all the boys in ALY that Kuroo and Kenma were close, but they’d never argued before. Usually they were more in sync than any pair in the building.</p><p>“If Kuroo is willing to, maybe that’s what they want us to do.” Yaku finally added, knowing ALY’s twisted tests weren’t above that. It was all for the goal, even if losing their assassin might not be a good choice.</p><p>“It’s not a sacrifice, Kenma is just underestimating me.” Playing it off with a smile, Kuroo pulled the marker from under the blonde hacker’s grasp.</p><p>Kenma held back, standing motionless as he processed those words.<br/>
So, first Kuroo gave up during their fight, now he’s getting himself killed in this assignment?<br/>
He imagined getting the news of Kuroo’s death. The light flickered.</p><p>“You’re not invincible.” Kenma shot back.</p><p>“You’re right, I’m not. And we don’t have to go with my plan. But if I didn’t know any better,” Kuroo walked around the table as he spoke. “I’d say it seems like our hacker cares more about me than this mission.”</p><p>Kenma took another second, but although he felt exposed, a rage to defend himself coursed through his body.</p><p>“I don’t see losing a teammate as a win, especially if it’s the best assassin we’ve got.”</p><p>“That’s debatable,” Yaku whispered to himself. Kuroo gave him a ‘I fucking heard that’ look.</p><p>“If you have a death wish, fine. But then I won’t waste my effort covering for you.” Kenma knocked over his own marker in one swift motion and turned for the door.</p><p>“Kenma wai-“</p><p>Kenma blocked it out. He knew he could block it out.<br/>
He sped up his pace down the halls until he reached the stairs. He practically slipped on the last step.</p><p>He reached their room knowing Kuroo would be there soon. Lockdown was in an hour, but he’d probably show up sooner than that.</p><p>It was too overwhelming.<br/>
Kenma evened out his breathing, and wished he could do the same to his thoughts. The blinking red light from his arm band wasn’t as fast as he thought.</p><p>He had never stormed out of an activity before, and knew he was lucky he hadn’t been stopped. That lesson was over when the strategy was decided. It wasn’t mandatory to stay once your team submitted it. Instructors probably thought they were finishing up.</p><p>But he couldn’t stay in that room, not with Kuroo continuing to distract and .. manipulate him? He didn’t even know if that described it. But saying Kenma cared more about him than the mission was a slap in the face. The insult still stung.<br/>
Nothing should ever mean more than their tasks. Right?</p><p>“You okay?” Soon enough, he heard Kuroo’s voice. Kenma leaned against the bunk, about to turn on his handheld game console.<br/>
“Did anyone see you?”</p><p>“No.” He hoped that was true.</p><p>“No to both of those?” Kuroo went on.</p><p>“I’m fine.” Kenma didn’t look at him. He couldn’t.</p><p>“You do know it’s okay to <em>not</em> be?” Kuroo took a step closer. They didn’t have doors, but cameras didn't have a great view of the corner, which was where Kenma stood intentionally.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re getting at.” Starting his game, Kenma was ready to attempt to ignore Kuroo’s persistence.</p><p>“It’s okay to feel. Anything. To care about someone.” Kuroo brought his voice to a whisper, hearing others walking in the hall now. “This place might not want you to, but it’s human nature. You can’t fight it.”</p><p>“You can if it’s pointless.” Was Kenma’s cold reply. He still didn’t look up.</p><p>“You wanted me to stay alive, right?” Kuroo had no idea how to get Kenma to understand. “You fought for that.”</p><p>“I was wrong.” The words hurt to say, but Kenma didn’t know how to make him stop.</p><p>Kuroo looked over his shoulder with a sigh. He knew this would happen one day.<br/>
Damn this place. It was a machine factory, manufacturing the next batch of cold-blooded killers.<br/>
Kenma, and the dozen other boys in here had no concept of how to feel anything other than determination to finish a job and end someone’s life. Kuroo only recognized this because he wasn’t here since birth. He had a decent childhood with loving parents, whose lives were cut short before he was brought to this hell. Kuroo had seen life outside of this, and knew that the instructors at ALY couldn’t let the boys be a part of that world. Even after they were released, they would live in the shadows, because it was all they understood.</p><p>“Listen, I’m.. sorry.” It wasn’t how he wanted to continue this conversation, but Kuroo could sense he was the cause of all Kenma’s frustration, and he hated to see him upset. “I just..”</p><p>Kenma rarely caught Kuroo at a loss for words. He watched him. His weird black hair suited his face, but the somewhat embarrassed expression was different.</p><p>“I guess I kind of wanted you to pick up on it, but looks like it backfired.” Kuroo began taking his heart rate sensor off and turned to sit on his bunk. “I’ll leave you alone.”</p><p>Kenma couldn’t have predicted his reaction.<br/>
“You don’t have to do that.” He said quietly.</p><p>“I know you’ve been hiding from me the last few days, so I’ll make it easier.” Kuroo lifted off his t-shirt, grabbing a white one from under the bed.</p><p>“I..” Kenma felt so lost now. It would be better if Kuroo kept his distance, right?<br/>
His focus shifted when he saw Kuroo’s back. Toned muscles of a trained fighter, his skin seemingly flawless.</p><p>“Can’t say ignoring you will be easy for me though.” Pulling the fresh shirt on, Kuroo watched the others walk down the hall.</p><p>“It’s impossible. We have classes and share a room.” Kenma sat at the other side of the bottom bunk. “Also I... don’t want you to.”</p><p>“You get what I mean, Kenma.”</p><p>Leaving Kenma alone would be the hardest thing he’d have to do. Kuroo had known he liked him as more than a friend for a while now, but figured it would never be mutual. Kenma was always there - with his soft golden eyes and timid demeanor. Kuroo knew he was different from all the others, and found himself adoring every detail of him. How Kenma spoke, his confidence, his curiosity.. maybe pushing the limits and flirting a little bit was risky, given the fact that Kenma had no clue what a crush or love was. But Kuroo guessed he couldn’t help himself.</p><p>“I said I don’t want you to. And I won’t ignore you either.”</p><p>Kuroo turned to face his friend, who sounded upset again. “Uh.. alright. If you’re sure.”</p><p>That night Kenma slept soundly, content with his choice.</p><p>He couldn’t hide from Kuroo.</p><p>He couldn’t hide from whatever this feeling was that inhabited his mind ever since the knife fight, and right then he decided to go a different route. He’d stop running from the person who mattered most to him, who he for some reason couldn’t bear to lose. Even if it shook his reality.</p><p>Besides, when a problem can’t be avoided in a game, you face it head on.</p><p>—</p><p>Turns out that letting go of the anger just left Kenma confused.<br/>
He had no idea why he couldn’t stop thinking of Kuroo, why he imagined them closer constantly. He let himself stare when Kuroo was up if they had combat practice together, he stayed by his side for every meal and every mission they were paired.</p><p>Days passed. They didn’t ignore each other, and to anyone else it seemed things were back to normal. That week they had separate training, and Kenma endured an intense fifteen hour simulation in front of a screen. All hackers were required to wear their blindfolds after, to rest their eyes and keep other senses sharp. He got in at 3am, Kuroo still awake, playing one of Kenma’s handheld games.</p><p>“How’d it go?” Kuroo greeted.</p><p>“Well. The last one we rushed, but it ended up fine.” Holding the fabric over his eyes, Kenma reached with his other hand to find his top bunk.</p><p>“I could never focus on codes for that long,” Kuroo yawned.</p><p>“It wasn’t bad.” Kenma enjoyed hacking and was used to these challenges now.</p><p>“Learning them is one thing, but the endurance for it is another.” Kuroo was actually very good at hacking, but there was no way he would give up the assassin role he was basically promised at this point. “No mission would be that long.”</p><p>“It’s possible. If the assassins aren’t quick enough.” Kicking off his shoes, Kenma gave his raven haired best friend a small smile.</p><p>“Very funny.”</p><p>Kenma felt like his eyes were burning, he reached back to hold up the blindfold but instead touched Kuroo’s hands, which were pulling it tighter.</p><p>“I got it.” came Kuroo’s voice behind him.</p><p>“Thanks.” Kenma left his hand on Kuroo’s wrist, and then felt himself be turned around gently.</p><p>Kenma sensed the heat between them grow, saw the faint red blinking of his own heart rate through the fabric until Kuroo took the opportunity to take the sensor off for him. He tossed it on the ground, and then Kenma felt a hand touch his face.</p><p>“Kuro.. what are you..” was the only thing he managed to say.</p><p>“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t tie it weird.” Kuroo pulled the blindfold down a little on Kenma’s cheek.</p><p>“Oh. Thanks.” Kenma didn’t know what he was expecting, it just felt so intimate.</p><p>“You sound disappointed.” Kuroo’s hands slipped down to Kenma’s back, holding him gently.</p><p>“I’m .. no.” The blindfolded hacker had imagined being this close to Kuroo again, but now that it was happening he didn’t know how to act.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Kuroo asked, wishing half of Kenma’s face wasn’t wrapped in black so he could read his expression better.</p><p>He nodded, his arms around Kuroo but not knowing what to really do, hands smoothed out on his soft shirt.</p><p>“Maybe we should move away from the door.”</p><p>“You’re right.” Kuroo guided them to the corner, knowing cameras would probably be able to see they were not in their beds.</p><p>Standing there hugging was nice, but Kuroo should have guessed that Kenma had no idea what else they could do. It wasn’t awkward, Kenma was just enjoying finally not being touch starved, and processing that he did in fact really like what was happening.</p><p>“Kenma.. can maybe.. could I try something?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Can I kiss you?”</p><p>Kenma knew what it was, just wasn’t sure of his opinion. Would having Kuroo’s mouth on his feel good? If having his body closer did, then maybe that would? Suddenly he felt panicked.</p><p>“I.. yeah. Do you know how? What do I-“ It wasn’t like him to stumble over words, usually being in total control of situations. He felt extremely confused and out of his element here.</p><p>“I’m not sure either. Guess we’ll be learning together.” Kuroo’s tone exuded happiness, and it was instantly reassuring.</p><p>He lifted Kenma’s chin carefully and when their lips met, all doubt melted away. Even in darkness, something sparked in Kenma’s body when Kuroo kissed him. The feeling was even more intense with his vision obscured. Warm and inviting, he held his breath without noticing.</p><p>Now it was Kuroo whose heartbeat pounded, as he pulled away.</p><p>“You can kiss back.. if you want, you know,” he said, leaning down and pressing his lips on Kenma’s cheek, which made him open his mouth in surprise.</p><p>“Oh I.. okay. I will.” Kenma felt a blush heat his face, a sensation he’d only ever felt twice now.</p><p>“Does that mean you’d like to continue?” Kuroo asked.</p><p>“Yes.” He tilted his head up, inviting Kuroo to kiss him again. This time was harsher, as Kenma pushed his lips against Kuroo’s, moving softly as they found their tender pace.</p><p>Kenma couldn’t stand the blindfold anymore, he wanted to see what was happening, as Kuroo slid a hand up his shirt. Kenma pulled the fabric over his forehead and couldn’t stop himself from letting out a quiet moan, as Kuroo kissed him again, allowing his tongue to enter the hacker’s mouth, who decided it was a welcome interaction.</p><p>“Let’s go on the floor,” Kuroo breathed. The height difference was killing him.</p><p>“They’re going to know we’re not in bed by now,” Kenma mentioned between heavy breathing, glancing at the doorway as Kuroo kept kissing his neck.</p><p>“Just for a minute,” was the whispered reply.</p><p>Kenma followed the wall with his hand as he sat against it, Kuroo above him, their lips crashing together again. Only dim light came from the hall, but Kenma appreciated being able to see Kuroo’s face, even if he had to close his eyes a lot from the pleasure (and also because they were still strained). He let his hands roam, finding Kuroo’s arms and shoulders.</p><p>“Kenma..”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“I like you a lot.”</p><p>The confession was abrupt. It made Kenma’s heart skip a beat, as they practically laid on the cold ground, Kuroo kissing him again as they surrendered to their new desires.</p><p>When they had stopped for a moment, Kenma looked into his friend's deep golden eyes. He was closer to them than he’d ever been before, and everything just felt right.</p><p>“I like you a lot, too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I hope you all enjoyed the realization and fluff at the end. My heart is so full for them ;-;<br/>The next two chapters will come sooner, I promise! Any predictions for the next one? I love to hear your thoughts &amp; comments! It really means sooo much to me.<br/>Thank you all for reading and following this kuroken journey that I'm trying to get out of my head! lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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